Caution—Meeting People Online!

It is our prayer this information will be beneficial to you!

Christians Concerns About Online Dating

We are including this section for Christian singles who may or may not be considering venturing out online.  We are optimistic that the internet can be used effectively by Christians, with Christian standards, as a way to meet other Christians.  However, at the same time, a strong word of warning—use great caution; proceed carefully.  There are many Christian dating sites you can easily access by typing in "Christian Singles" on search engines such as Yahoo, Google, etc.  Some of these sites are free or they are free for a short trial period.  They usually involve a fee with promises of acquainting you with other singles.  While there may be reputable Christian sites, again CAUTION is urged.  Christian singles need to be aware of the following issues when sharing information on the internet. 

It is Easy for People to be DECEPTIVE or UNTRUTHFUL

How can you be sure someone is telling the truth?  Online misrepresentation is common.  Many times people wanting to be their best do not tell the truth about such things as age, spiritual walk, marital status, divorce situations, morality, drinking, drugs, disease, financial instability, personal problems, immaturity, prison incarceration, abuse, and other pertinent information.  Obviously, there are many questions to ask:

• What problems exist that you are not being told about upfront? 
• Do posted pictures make them look younger than honest reality? 
• Is the emphasis upon physical looks to the exclusion of other more important qualities? 
• Does their information on one site agree with what they may say on another site?
• Does their spiritual walk match their spiritual talk?

·         Is the person of interest genuinely Christian?  Anyone can easily access Christian sites and use Christian lingo.  Beware of potential abuse.

The 200 plus questions booklet in the "Recommended Reading for Christian Singles" section is very revealing when answered honestly.  We have learned the internet can bring a multitude of information about someone in a hurry.  It is always wise to proceed slowly, carefully, and to reserve judgment until you are very sure.  Caution: ask numerous detailed questions.  Sooner or later, the truth will come through. 

Don't buy a pig in the poke!  It is a fact that in some cases people have agreed to marriage via the internet—without ever meeting them in person prior to the wedding. 

Many Sites Labeled as Christian—Are Not Genuinely Christian

Sometimes you will find Christian sites in name but are owned by secular companies.  They are seeking Christian traffic to further their business.  Often ownership of sites may be sold or transferred from one party to another.  Be sure the atmosphere is truly and genuinely Christian in purpose.  Do they have a policy statement or Biblical standards?  Does their advertising tend to exaggerate the real facts regarding number of Christian users, number of marriages, and other such information?

Most of Those Online are Previously Divorced

When someone indicates that they are single, it may mean they have only been single since last Tuesday!  Although you will find those who are widowed and singles who have never been married, by far the large majority, maybe 95%, have been previously married and are divorced.  

Those who would consider someone previously divorced need to think through the realization that an additional person's family and circumstances are involved.  Many questions need to be asked.  While it is certainly possible to have a successful marriage when divorce has previously occurred, it is not wise to proceed with such a marriage without Christian counsel and much prayerful consideration.

Marriage preparation may need to include a well-proven test called "PREPARE" by Michael J. McManus, www.marriagesavers.com which can be given to engaged couples.  With 86% accuracy, this test can predict whether an engaged couple are likely to divorce in the future should they marry.  Please check suggested reading below and read further information under "Resources on Divorce, Divorce Recovery."

Here Today—Gone Tomorrow!

The large majority of respondents on Christian dating sites are temporary at best and do not often remain active.  Almost everyone uses code names to hide true identities.  A lot of people use the 'freebie time' on sites but do not remain active once they are required to pay a fee.

Meeting Them Personally

This portion is mostly for ladies, but men need to be aware and careful as well.  Before deciding to meet anyone in person, it is wise to have been in much prayer, have many conversations and be completely satisfied with the answers to your questions. 

When you are meeting someone from online that you do not really know, it is also wise to notify a personal close friend or family member of your intentions.  First meetings are usually safe when in a public place commonly known to both parties such as a restaurant, church, etc.  Ladies in particular need to be careful not to get into a car alone with someone until trust has been established.  Always notify others who you are with and when you plan to return.

The Most Important Questions You Can Ask

What is the other person's depth of spirituality?  Does it match yours?

Is this person in God's purpose and plan for your life?

What Christian beliefs, teachings, and doctrines

do they really believe and honestly practice?

There are hundreds of Christian matching services available.  While this is not an endorsement, we suggest you investigate several sites such as www.eharmony.com or www.christiancafe.com plus others.  Some services offer matchmaking, but their methodology may be questionable.

Be wise enough to ask your own questions.

CAUTION:  If there is no spiritual foundation, there is nothing to build a relationship on!